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Kurt Smith

Specialist in Counseling Men and the women who love them

I want to have conversations on Google+ that make me think, learn, and laugh. If you do too, then please engage with me.Men, Women, Relationships, Love and Health . . . aren't these topics we all have in common . . . ones we all need to understand better . . . things we all could learn more about from each other??? So join the conversation and think, learn, and laugh along with us.My Promise To You: Five days a week on Google+ I'll start a conversation about one of the above topics and I guarantee you'll have an opinion about it! You may like it, hate it, think I'm crazy or an idiot, possibly even brilliant, but I guarantee you'll have something to say about it.Want to Connect on Google+? This page is one of the best places to do it. As one of the Top 50 Profiles on Google+ for engagement, my posts get +1, commented on, and shared . . . a lot (source: +CircleCount). Join in and get connected. If you want to get your stream rockin' and rollin', try sharing some of these posts and...


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Date Following Followers Gained
Recent Popular Posts
+6,796
1,434 Shares
About 1 week ago Love Must Be Chosen Over Again Each Day

Love is a many-splendored thing, or at least that's what the song says. But love isn't always bliss, is it? Love can be downright challenging at times. So what can we do to get through the hard times? We need to choose love.

Love, like any emotion, cannot be maintained 24/7. And that's why so many of us get into trouble, because we believe love is just an emotion, something we either fall into and fall out of. But love’s much more than just an emotion -- it's also a choice, one that we need to make every day. Some days, it's a very difficult choice. On other days, it's a choice that comes easily and naturally from our heart.

When we enter into a serious romantic relationship, we make a commitment to love our partner. A commitment by definition is a promise to be loyal to someone, regardless of how we feel on any given day. If we wake up one morning -- maybe the day after a big fight or after weeks of the mundane w
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1,304 Shares
About 7 weeks ago Comparing Love Is Bad For You

Sometimes it seems everyone is in love – everyone, that is, except us. Your best friend calls to tell you she’s moving in with her boyfriend. A buddy at work announces that he and his girlfriend are engaged. A sibling constantly gushes about all of the amazing adventures they have with their partner.

When these things happen, we can often find ourselves feeling jealous. We wonder why the same thing isn’t happening for us. Why haven't we got what they’ve got?

It’s easy to look at others and think they’ve got it made -- that they’re "meant to be." But we never have all the facts. Relationships are never all that they appear to be from the outside.

Comparing our love life with others' is a fool's game that only causes us heartache and misery. Before we compare our relationship to someone else’s, let’s stop and remember that we don’t know the whole story.

#stopcomparing   #relationshipadvice   #kurtstips  <
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1,203 Shares
About 4 weeks ago Don't Settle For A 'Less Than Partner' Than You Deserve

We've all got relationship baggage -- some more burdensome than others. And we all schlep our baggage from one relationship to the next, adding to our bags as we go.

Our baggage comes in many different shapes and sizes. It might be from a messy break up that left us with trust issues. Or it could be from the verbal abuse we endured in a past relationship. Or maybe it's our lingering insecurities from a less-than-supportive parent.

Wherever our baggage comes from, we need a partner who isn't afraid of it. We deserve someone who's willing to help us carry it, do the dirty work of helping us unpack it, support us while we sort through it, or go with us to counseling while we get the help we need to make sense of what to keep and what to discard.

So don't settle for a 'less than partner' than you deserve. Wait for the partner who'll help you lighten your load.

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About 8 weeks ago How to Have the Last Word

“It’s so hard to do and so easy to say, but sometimes you just have to walk away.” Ben Harper sure got it right when he sang those words.  I think we all know this to be true, but putting it into action is really difficult.

Oftentimes in an argument, we continue to engage just for the sake of arguing. We may have even forgotten the issue that led to the disagreement to begin with. But we become so consumed with having the last word that we just keep on fighting.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is just walk away. It can take every fiber in our being to be strong enough to do this. But when our argument is spiraling into name-calling or personal attacks, it’s time to walk away. The real issue has been lost, and we need to be strong enough to put an end to the destruction.

When we’re strong enough to know when to walk away, we can have the last word without saying anything at all. Let's let our departure do all the talking for us.
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About 4 weeks ago Wrong Turn, Right Destination

Our lives are full of (seemingly) unending choices. And, unfortunately, sometimes we can really make some bad ones. But that doesn't have to be the end of the story.

A colleague of mine made some poor choices in his late teens and ended up addicted to heroine. He spent quite a few years making more bad choices under the affects of this powerful drug. These choices cost him relationships, most of his earthly belongings and almost his life. Thankfully, he made one very positive choice that led him to sobriety. Today, he is a counselor working with young men who are struggling with addiction. And he is making a huge difference for these guys.

My colleague has stated he would never go back through his days of addiction, even to be where he is today. It was pure hell, and he doesn't romanticize the experience because of where he is today. But this is clearly an example of where some very wrong turns led him to exactly the right destination, exa
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About 4 weeks ago Love Has No Past Tense -- Or Does It?

Many of us have been in love. It can be a pretty blissful feeling. But when the relationship ends, it can really suck.

What happens then? Do we stop loving our partner? Some believe that if we truly love someone, we'll always love them. Others believe that we can grow into and out of love, depending upon where we are in life.

What do you think? Is it possible to fall out of love? Or, as this quote argues, do you believe that once you love someone, you'll always love them? I want to hear what you think.

#love #fallingoutoflove #kurtstips Image:
http://goo.gl/710cqb








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About 5 weeks ago Don't Play The Fool For Love

Have you ever found yourself chasing love? Pursuing someone you wanted but who didn't return the same feelings to you? It's time to stop. 

We've all been there or watched a friend go there -- chasing after somebody that we desperately want but they aren't interested in us. We can lose sight of our self-respect and allow ourselves to look like, and be treated like, a fool.

The hard truth is that sometimes our feelings are just not going to be returned by the object of our affection. We need to face this and walk away, despite the fact that we don't want to and that it hurts like #!$*@.

So let's not play the fool for love. We need to value ourselves more and recognize that it’s time to move on to find the person who does love us back.

#fallinginlove   #datingadvice   #kurtstips  Image: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/203576845627684764/









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About 2 weeks ago Be Ready For Life's Curveballs

Life sure has a way of throwing curveballs, doesn't it? We're chugging along according to our carefully laid out plans and -- WHAM! -- a curveball out of left field knocks us on our butt. What gives?

Unfortunately, such is the reality of life. No matter how well we've planned or how thoroughly we've prepared, things can happen that are totally out of our control. Our car breaks down just before we're going to leave on a road trip. Or the dog gets sick and the vet bill wipes out our savings account. 

The key to happiness in life is how we respond to life's curveballs. Research has shown that one of the primary keys to success is the ability to adapt to change. So how we respond to things not going according to plan is a big determiner of our life success or failure.

In the big things and the little things, let's practice responding to those inevitable curveballs by yelling, "Plot twist!" and lea
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About 3 weeks ago The 'Right Love' Is Always Worth The Wait

If you're looking for love and having a hard time finding it, then I'm sure you've heard this well-intentioned advice: "You'll find him/her when the time is right"..."It'll happen when you least expect it"..."The wait will be worth it."

One thing I’ve learned through my own experience, and from counseling many others, is that you need to be truthful with yourself about why you’re looking for love. If you’re looking for love because you’re lonely, then stop looking (for now). Look for friendship, look for companionship, but for now, don't look for love.

Being lonely can actually create an obstacle to finding and building a healthy relationship and being able to love someone else. First, deal with your feelings of loneliness -- adopt a pet, get involved in social activities, journal, talk to a counselor. Depending upon the depth of your loneliness, do the kind of work necessar
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About 3 weeks ago After The Hurt, There's Only Love

This quote, often attributed to Mother Teresa, challenges us to love until it hurts and then, after that, we'll find that there is no more hurt, only love. What do you think?

Within the context of a romantic relationship, this may seem wrong. Why would we ever seek out hurt in a relationship? As a counselor, people often come to me for help eliminating the hurt. But the truth is that loving someone hurts sometimes, and that's normal.

Another perspective on this is that we're to love others with such compassion that we share their hurt. But sometimes we get it all wrong when we try to love someone and only get hurt back in return.

How do you think "love" and "hurt" go together? I'd like to hear what you think.

#loveandpain   #lovequotes   #kurtstips  
Image: http://goo.gl/Ia4vtY